Social media, as powerful a networking platform as it is, can introduce serious consequences when it comes to marriage and divorce. Facebook, Twitter, and other social media sites are increasingly being mentioned in divorce filings, suggesting the sites are helping to break up marriages. Married people have been caught flirting with their Facebook friends, communicating with old flames, and using apps like FourSquare to visit venues their spouses might question. While these actions may not be the direct cause of divorce, they can reveal cracks in relationships that ultimately lead to that outcome.
Beyond the lack of propriety in married people flirting with their exes or posting disparaging comments online about their spouses, there is another problem. The misconduct is open to prying eyes. If an individual has neglected to adjust the privacy settings on her social media account, anyone can observe the things she posts.
This has serious implications for couples going through divorce. As damaging as social media can be to a marriage, it can just as dramatically affect divorce settlement negotiations. We’ll explain how below. We’ll also provide a few tips for using social networking sites if you’re currently seeking a divorce.
How Social Media Can Affect Your Divorce
The 3 main areas of dispute in settlement negotiations are asset division, child custody, and child and spousal support. Disagreements over these areas often arise based on claims made by one or both parties. For example, one spouse might balk at paying a certain amount of child support, claiming he is unable to afford the amount proposed. Another spouse might argue that she should have sole legal custody of the children based on her ability to be a responsible mother.
These claims are sometimes difficult to disprove. Even when the other spouse knows the claims are false, there may be scant evidence proving as much.
Social media has, in many cases, solved that problem. Posts, comments, and pictures found online may provide ample evidence that the claims made by one or both parties are untrue. For example, a spouse who claims he lacks the money to pay a certain amount of child support might post pictures on Facebook displaying his new boat or sports car. A spouse arguing for legal custody of her children based on her being a responsible mother might post pictures showing her kids drinking alcohol at a party.
One might assume that a person who has been “unfriended” by his or her spouse will be unable to see what is posted on the spouse’s account. But it’s important to keep in mind that married couples tend to have many friends in common. If those friends are still connected to the spouse – e.g. they are still “Facebook friends” – they will be able to see what is posted by him or her. There is a high likelihood that they’ll relay the details to the “unfriended” party.
It’s not unusual for activity that has taken place on social media sites to be presented during divorce settlement negotiations. A resourceful attorney can often uncover information that contradicts the claims made by his client’s soon-to-be ex-spouse. Such information may expose hidden assets, falsehoods, and ultimately have a significant impact on the terms of the settlement.
Tips For Using Social Media During Divorce
Just as your spouse’s social media activity can place him or her in a compromising light, so too can it affect you in a similar manner. For that reason, it is important to be careful regarding what you post online. Anything posted can be printed. Anything printed can be presented later. Think twice before posting something that might reflect poorly on you during the settlement negotiations.
It is not enough to simply adjust your privacy settings. If you and your spouse have mutual friends, those friends may still be able to see any comment or picture you add to your account. Assume they’ll pass along the details to your spouse.
A better idea is to censor yourself on social networking sites. For example, refrain from making derogatory comments about your spouse. Avoid posting pictures that show you at parties. Discontinue your use of apps like FourSquare that allow you to “check in” at certain venues. In short, use discretion.
Social media sites like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter aren’t going away anytime soon. They have become as much a part of our culture as email and cell phones. But realize that the information you post online can be seen by others. That means it can pose major consequences when negotiating your settlement.