Despite the fact that millions of people have been through divorce, and countless books offer sound advice about the process, numerous myths persist. People believe all manner of fiction when it comes to ending a marriage. Unfortunately, divorce myths and misconceptions can cause separating couples to make big mistakes that haunt them later.
If you and your spouse are thinking about getting a divorce, you need to be able to separate fact from fiction. This article will help. We’ll expose 5 common divorce myths that still manage to lead people astray. Some may seem silly to you. Others you might be surprised to learn are fallacies.
#1 – Divorced Women Suffer A Lower Standard Of Living
Numerous experts have said over the years that women tend to experience a dramatic change in their living standards after emerging from a divorce. The common view is that women suffer considerably while their ex-husbands either enjoy a higher standard of living or endure no change at all.
First, it’s important to realize that everyone’s circumstances are different. Suggesting that women, as a group, become paupers after divorce is highly misleading.
Second, the original data quoted to support the notion that women become practically destitute after divorce was later discovered to be wrong. (It was asserted by Lenore Weitzman in her book “The Divorce Revolution: The Unexpected Social and Economic Consequences for Women and Children in America”.)
To be sure, many women find themselves struggling financially after walking away from their marriage. But that is often because they failed to look after their interests when negotiating a settlement, not due to some economic principle.
#2 – Getting Divorced Costs A Lot Of Money
Divorce can be expensive. If you and your spouse have become mortal enemies and plan to take each other to court, you might end up paying thousands of dollars to dissolve your marriage. Litigation is always costly.
But suppose you and your future ex-spouse agree on the major pieces of your settlement. You agree on how to split your assets, how to share custody of your children, and the amount of child or spousal support that will be paid. Because there is little conflict, there’s no reason to litigate. That being the case, you may be able to finalize your divorce for as little as four or five hundred dollars.
#3 – Mothers Always Get Custody In Divorce
A long time ago, this was often the case. Mothers were seen as better nurturers than fathers, and thus were given full custody of the couple’s children. But this dynamic hasn’t been the case for nearly a generation, especially as the number of women in the workforce has risen.
Today, most couples share custody of their kids after getting divorced. The children live with both parents, and both parents have an equal say in their upbringing. Decisions regarding the kids’ medical care, schooling, and religious instruction (if any) are made jointly.
#4 – Alimony Is Forever
Surprisingly, a lot of people believe that spousal support is paid until one of the spouses dies. The party who is ordered by the court to pay alimony does so each month regardless of the circumstances. In reality, alimony rarely works in this manner.
Spousal support payments can end for a variety of reasons. For example, the court may allow the person ordered to pay alimony to stop doing so when his or her ex-spouse remarries. Or the court may decide that payments can stop once the couple’s children leave home. Sometimes, a date is set in the future at which point spousal support payments can stop.
#5 – All Divorce Attorneys Are The Same
Many people assume all divorce lawyers offer the same services and take the same approach when helping their clients end their marriages. In truth, they are different in a number of ways. First, some are combative while others prefer a more collaborative approach. The former tends to push litigation while the latter encourages clients to seek an uncontested divorce.
Some attorneys specialize in divorce cases. They have considerable experience in divorce law. Other attorneys are generalists. They take all types of cases and have a bit of experience in many areas.
The most important thing to remember is that everything you know about divorce may not necessarily be true. This is one of the reasons to consult a qualified divorce attorney who can help you get through the process as quickly and smoothly as possible.