When raw emotions get involved, an otherwise amicable divorce process can quickly sour. The husband and wife can progress from treating each other civilly to fighting tooth and nail over matters that are arguably not worth fighting over. A contested divorce can often turn into a difficult and stressful process for all parties involved.
It can happen to anyone. No one is completely immune from the sorrow, anger, and hurt feelings that can bubble to the surface during a divorce. The problem is, an eruption can easily derail the settlement negotiations. A divorcing couple that may have previously been willing to collaborate to minimize the time and expense of their divorce now fight each other as enemies.
If the above scenario describes your situation, it’s important to step back and take stock of your motivations. Is the item you and your spouse are fighting over – whether it involves child support, alimony, or how your assets are divided – actually worth the fight? Below, we’ll take an objective approach to answering that question.
What Are The Chances That You’ll Succeed?
No one enjoys fighting a losing battle. There’s little point to it unless the sole objective is to hurt the person you’re fighting. But given that every disagreement between you and your spouse can potentially increase the cost of your divorce, both sides get hurt financially – if not emotionally – in the process.
The first question to ask yourself is whether you stand a reasonable chance of winning. If you don’t, the fight just becomes an exercise in wasting time and money. It also worsens the relationship between you and your future ex, which will further aggravate the settlement negotiations.
Your attorney will be able to give you a shrewd and levelheaded outlook of your chances. Don’t ignore his (or her) advice. Doing so could end up needlessly increasing the cost of your divorce by thousands of dollars.
How Much Are You Willing To Pay To Win?
Try to determine the dollar value of the item you’re fighting over. Only then can you decide whether it is worth the fight (with the exception of child custody issues).
The figures can be misleading unless you understand how inflation erodes the value of present-day dollars. In essence, a dollar received next year is worth less than a dollar received today. When you’re considering thousands of dollars paid over several years – as is often the case with child support and alimony payments – it’s important to know the present value of the payments.
For example, if you are fighting to receive an extra $1,000 per month in alimony over 10 years, the total amount of the disputed payments equals $120,000 ($12,000 per year). But you don’t have access to the money immediately. By the time you receive it, it’s worth far less due to inflation.
You need to know how much the item in question is worth in today’s dollars. That way, you can decide how much time, effort, and money you’re willing to spend in order to obtain it.
Should You Go To Court Over The Issue?
Here we arrive at the crux of the matter: whether or not to pursue the fight in court. In a “best case” scenario, your spouse would be willing to concede the issue in private, allowing both of you to avoid litigation. But if the matter is important and you and your spouse are combative toward one another, that outcome is unlikely. There is a good chance you’ll end up fighting in front of a judge.
Litigation can be very expensive. It often requires a lot of time. It may even warrant third-party testimony. It’s worth underscoring that the judge who hears your case makes the final decision regarding the matter in dispute. You may be unsatisfied with his or her ruling, particularly after spending a considerable amount of money to win.
Understanding The True Cost Of A Contested Divorce
A contested divorce – one in which the spouses disagree on the terms of the settlement or the divorce itself – can cost tens of thousands of dollars. For that reason, it is critical to ask whether the items you’re disputing are worth fighting over. You need to determine upfront your chances of winning, the value of the item (or items) in question, and whether you’re ready to go to court over them.
Your divorce attorney can provide valuable insight and advice based on years of experience handling similar cases. Don’t dismiss his or her suggestions. They’re designed to help you get through your divorce as quickly and inexpensively as possible.