An uncontested divorce will help you to get your life back on track without becoming mired in the needless squabbles that can weigh down settlement negotiations. In many cases, you can get your divorce approved by a judge in less than a month. By contrast, an adversarial divorce – one in which the spouses fight over every detail and go out of their way to belittle each other – can take a year or longer. The experience can be exhausting – mentally, emotionally, and financially.
The present article will describe 4 main disadvantages of being antagonistic during your divorce. If you’re angry at your spouse, resentful, or feel that he or she betrayed you, it may feel good to get back at him or her. But realize that doing so carries a cost.
#1 – It Prolongs The Divorce Process
No one enjoys going through a divorce (though some people might enjoy putting their wives and husbands through the experience). It’s an unpleasant process that often invokes emotions that are difficult to control. What’s more, neither party is able to put their failed marriage behind them and move on with their lives until the process is complete.
Bickering with one another and fighting over settlement terms extends the amount of time needed to legally end the marriage. It takes longer for the parties to agree with each other on the terms of their settlement. Combative couples often find themselves fighting over matters in front of a judge.
Divorce litigation can take a considerable amount of time. Due to court logjams and multiple delays, it’s common for cases to take a year or longer to resolve. During that period, both parties are caught in a state of limbo. They’re unable to put the past behind them and rebuild their lives.
#2 – Important Matters Are Rarely Resolved
Not only does fighting extend the amount of time needed to dissolve a marriage, but it rarely leads to a conclusive settlement. Couples that are antagonistic toward each other during the negotiations often find themselves revisiting the terms after their divorce has been finalized.
For example, one of the spouses may have a problem with how much alimony is paid by the other party. Or both parties might clash over the agreed-upon terms surrounding child custody. Or one of the spouses may want to revisit the division of the couple’s marital property. These and similar matters are more likely to surface following a combative divorce.
#3 – It Increases The Cost Of Your Divorce
An uncontested divorce – one in which there are no issues in dispute – can cost as little as $400. The process is essentially a matter of filling out the proper paperwork and submitting it to the courts for a judge’s approval. When both spouses are argumentative, however, the total cost of their divorce can rise into the thousands of dollars.
There are 2 reasons. First, the time it takes to negotiate a settlement increases. Because most attorneys bill by the hour, the increased time translates into higher legal fees. Second, many couples take their disputes to the courts. That too can add significantly to the amount of time needed to dissolve the marriage.
#4 – It Sets The Stage For Future Hostility
Belligerence and animosity between the spouses during the settlement negotiations all but ensures they’ll be hostile toward one another after their divorce is made final. For couples who have no intentions to see each other, the mutual rancor may be fine. But if they need to interact in any way, it can become a major problem.
For example, the spouses might operate a business together; shared hostility can make it difficult to do so productively. Or they may share the same set of friends; bitterness can cause their friends to feel uncomfortable around them. Or the couple may have children; working together to provide their kids with a stable, stress-free environment is impossible when the spouses are constantly antagonistic toward each other.
Feelings of anger, bitterness, and resentment are normal during a divorce. But it’s important to put those feelings on the back burner while negotiating your settlement agreement. Allowing them to fester and influence how you interact with your future ex will prolong the divorce process, increase your costs, and set the stage for future acrimony.