Once your divorce is final, your biggest challenge will be getting your life back on track. Even an uncontested divorce, one in which both you and your spouse agree on all major issues – can leave you emotionally exhausted. Adjusting to your newly-single life while recovering from a broken heart can be daunting.
There’s no instruction manual; every case is unique. The healing process that best suits you will differ from the one that helps someone else going through similar circumstances. Having said that, there are several steps you can take to get back on your feet and rebuild your life. Read on for suggestions on how to create a rewarding post-divorce life that makes you happy.
Take Time To Recover Emotionally
Whether the decision to end your marriage is mutual or one-sided, the process can still leave emotional scars. It’s not uncommon for divorcees to fall into despair, grieving over failed relationships in which they invested years of their lives.
Making a full recovery requires setting aside sufficient time to heal. That involves allowing yourself to grieve, much as you would if a loved one passed away.
Many people immerse themselves into their jobs or other activities that fill up their days. Doing so provides a distraction so they don’t have to think about their new circumstances. The problem is, it also postpones the recovery process. Psychologists and divorce counselors recommend that divorcees come to terms with their situation in order to heal and move on with their lives.
Seek The Company Of Family And Friends
Although it’s important to spend time by yourself to contemplate your new life as a single person, it is equally important to plug into a support network. Most newly-divorced individuals find comfort from their friends and family. Some join support groups designed to help divorcees work through their emotions.
Finding people who have gone through divorce and know firsthand the sense of emotional loss it triggers is easier today than it was 30 years ago. After all, it’s increasingly common for couples to call it quits. Hearing their stories and sharing your own can play an important role in the healing process. It can help alleviate some of the pain you’re feeling, help you to acknowledge your grief, and make it easier to let go of your marriage.
Adjusting To The Single Life
Many people find that the transition from married life to singlehood is filled with challenges. In addition to the emotional roller coaster that accompanies ending the relationship, there’s a sense of having to start over. The divorcee must get reacquainted with living her life in the absence of a partner. Eventually, she may decide to start dating again, a process fraught with pitfalls and potential rejection.
Living happily as a single person requires being at peace with your post-divorce circumstances. Only then will you be able to identify what will make you happy. Rather than jumping into a new relationship, it’s a good idea to spend time without any commitments. Give yourself an opportunity to make new friends, figure out your goals, and socialize without stress or obligations.
Plan Your Financial Future
Money is one of the most perplexing and stressful aspects of divorce. The newly-divorced individual must find a way to earn enough income to pay the bills, put food on the table, and provide for his or her children. In addition, he or she must set aside money to meet long-term goals, such as retirement or college tuition for his or her children.
Women who raised their kids during their marriages while their husbands earned the bulk of the household income may now need to seek full-time employment. Unfortunately, a lack of marketable skills can make it difficult to make ends meet, even with a full-time job. It’s important to have a strict budget in place.
Make a list of your monthly income and expenses. Trim any expenses that are unnecessary, such as cable television or an expensive gym membership. Also, avoid purchasing unneeded items, especially with credit.
Calling it quits is not easy. It will take time to find your footing. But living happily after divorce is possible if you take the above steps. The upside is that you’ll eventually be able to close the book on your failed marriage and devote yourself to creating a rewarding life.