You may have no choice but to take your soon-to-be ex-spouse to court. Although a vast majority of divorce cases are settled privately, there are many circumstances that make doing so practically impossible.
For example, your ex might be uncooperative, refusing to discuss a settlement or even the prospect of ending your marriage. Or there might be physical or emotional abuse that’s happening in the relationship. Or your husband or wife might have emptied your joint bank accounts and disappeared. Although you should do everything possible to avoid taking matters to a judge, you may lack other options.
This article will provide a realistic – and perhaps sobering – account of what you can expect if you go to trial over your divorce. Some of what you’re about to read may surprise you.
Going To Trial Costs A Lot Of Money
If you and your spouse are able to negotiated a settlement agreement in private, rather than pursuing litigation, you can complete your divorce for a few hundred dollars. But if you decide to take your spouse to court, start saving your money. The average cost of a trial is $15,000. It can climb much higher depending on how long it takes. Some couples end up spending $30,000 or more just to end their marriages.
There’s a big financial incentive to negotiate privately, whether through mediation, arbitration, or just in the presence of your respective attorneys. If the negotiations fail to produce results, you can still go to trial. But consider it a last resort.
Finalizing Your Divorce Can Take Several Months
U.S. courts are suffering from a serious logjam. Although many states are taking measures to clear the logjam and expedite cases, the problem persists. There’s still a considerable amount of time that passes between the point at which a suit is filed and when the parties appear before a judge.
If you take your spouse to court, your case might be heard within a couple of months. But that should not be an expectation. It’s common for divorce cases to languish in the pipeline for a year or longer before the parties finally get a court date. Compare that to filing an uncontested divorce, a process that can often be completed in a matter of weeks.
Most People Are Unprepared For Court
A lot of divorcing couples mistakenly think they need only to present their side of a particular issue and the judge will render a decision in their favor. They experience tunnel vision, believing that their side is the only sane one given the circumstances. So they fail to prepare a compelling argument, expecting the judge to agree with them. Many even handle themselves poorly in front of the judge, further hurting their chances of receiving the decisions they want.
If you have decided to go to trial, make sure you have documentation that supports your arguments. For example, you might present bank statements, pay stubs, and other items that demonstrate your need for alimony.
Also, it’s important to conduct yourself professionally in court. Dress appropriately, avoid becoming overly-emotional, and resist the temptation to embellish the truth.
The Judge’s Decisions Will Probably Disappoint You
One of the most common criticisms people have about divorce court is that their judge’s decisions were unfair. The perception often stems from a misunderstanding of the judge’s responsibility and unrealistic expectations about their trial’s outcome.
Some of the facts surrounding your case will be addressed directly by the laws in your state. In those matters, the judge will simply apply the laws as they pertain to your circumstances. With other aspects of your case, the judge will have more latitude to decide matters according to his or her perception of fairness. The judge might resolve disputes in a way that makes sense to him or her, but makes little sense to the spouses.
This should be an expectation. Divorce court judges lack the perspective of the divorcing parties regarding their marriage. As such, his or her decisions may seem unfair or even wrongheaded.
You Could Have Avoided Going To Trial
Seeking a divorce and negotiating a settlement can be an emotionally trying ordeal. For many couples, the process is fraught with feelings of anger and resentment. Small disagreements can quickly spiral out of control, prompting bitter arguments. When the negotiations break down, the parties immediately consider taking each other to court.
Doing so is usually unnecessary. With the help of their attorneys, most divorcing couples can come back to the bargaining table and successfully draft a fair settlement agreement. The alternative is to spend a substantial amount of time and money in litigation only to be disappointed with the results.
If you are seeking a divorce, consult a family law attorney who understands the value of keeping the settlement negotiations out of court.