For parents with underage children, getting divorced involves more than merely negotiating spousal support and the division of debts and property. The couple must also address issues related to child custody. They need to decide with whom their kids will live, when the other parent can visit them, and who will assume legal custody. The parent with legal custody decides matters related to medical care, schooling, etc. If custody is to be shared between the divorcing parents, there are numerous other details to negotiate.
Ideally, the spouses will be able to settle these issues on their own. But doing so usually requires that they remain on agreeable terms. If one or both parties are resentful or emotionally hurt, settling custody matters amicably becomes more difficult. This usually sets the stage for a custody evaluation for one or both parents.
What Is The Purpose Of A Custody Evaluation?
A custody evaluation is performed to determine the most appropriate custody arrangement given the best interests of the couple’s children. An evaluator will interview both parents multiple times and observe each parent’s interactions with their children. He or she will also speak with various professionals who interact with the kids or the parents on a regular basis. These may include school teachers, physicians, and therapists.
The evaluation typically takes a few months to complete. At its end, the evaluator will make recommendations to the court based on his or her findings. The divorce court judge is not obligated to follow the evaluator’s recommendations, but will take them into account when deciding custody matters.
Things To Do During A Custody Evaluation
It’s natural to feel nervous when you are being interviewed or observed by a custody evaluator. You may be tempted to say the right things while doing everything possible to put your ex-spouse in a poor light. But doing so is likely to backfire. Custody evaluators tend to be good judges of those they meet, and can identify signs of disingenuity quickly.
With that in mind, be honest and forthright. When asked about parenting issues that cause difficulty for you, respond openly. If asked about details of your past that might cast a shadow on your evaluation, resist the temptation to hide them. Be truthful.
Throughout the interviews, remind yourself that the evaluator’s job is to determine a custody arrangement that best accommodates your children. He or she is not there to antagonize you or challenge your ability to be a good parent. Let the evaluator know that you are receptive to a range of custody solutions. Also, inform him or her that you consider it important to have both you and your spouse involved in your kids’ lives.
During the evaluation, you may be asked by the evaluator to provide various documents. These documents may include bank statements, employment records, and details about your children’s medical history. Try to fulfill these requests as quickly as possible.
Things To Avoid Doing During The Evaluation
First, don’t be combative with the evaluator. As noted earlier, he or she is focused on coming up with a custody plan that is in the best interests of your children. Being aggressive or antagonistic will make you seem less reasonable. That impression can have a negative impact on your evaluation.
Second, don’t criticize your spouse. Be candid about details that make him or her a good parent, and equally candid about areas that might warrant personal growth with respect to parenting. There is no need to disparage him or her. In fact, doing so with malice may cause the evaluator to discount your comments.
Third, don’t try to influence the things your kids say or do in front of the evaluator. Instead, encourage them to act and speak as they normally would if the evaluator were not present. Let your children know that the evaluator is trying to gather information that will help both you and your ex-spouse do the best parenting job possible.
Custody evaluations can be daunting. Not only are you getting divorced from your spouse, but you are now facing the possibility of having your time with your child restricted. Use the suggestions above to get through your evaluation while ensuring your ability to be a good parent is seen in a favorable light.