Deciding to get a divorce may have seemed like the most difficult experience you’ve ever been through. But negotiating a settlement agreement can be even worse. Spouses who are normally friendly with one another can suddenly become combative, fighting over their house, their kids, and issues concerning child and spousal support. The wrong approach can result in an adversarial divorce that causes legal fees to skyrocket.
Below, we’ll share 6 simple tips to help you and your future ex-spouse negotiate an agreeable divorce settlement without unnecessary drama or high attorney fees. The following recommendations may not be easy to incorporate. But they can smooth the negotiations and help you to rebuild your life quickly after you and your spouse part ways.
#1 – Keep The Peace With Your Spouse
The purpose of negotiating a settlement outside of court is to avoid having a judge do it for you. To that end, the more civil you are with your wife or husband, the less likely the negotiations will spiral out of control.
Try to set aside anger or any other other emotion that might trigger a hostile reaction from your spouse. Keep focused on your primary goal: obtaining the things you need, not exacting revenge on your partner for past misdeeds.
#2 – Seek Advice From Your Own Attorney
It’s common for divorcing spouses who are friendly with each other to use the same lawyer. It seems easier and less costly than retaining separate counsel. But it’s can be a bad idea.
The attorney’s job is to protect and promote the interests of his or her client. In divorce cases, the spouses’ interests are often at odds with each other. Retaining the same lawyer is likely to result in one of the partners being at a disadvantage.
#3 – Create A Divorce Strategy
Don’t show up to the settlement negotiation without a clear plan of what you want to negotiate. The lack of an agenda is a formula for needless arguments and wasted time.
Speak with your spouse beforehand and create a list of items to discuss at the appointed time. Also, make a list of the documents you’ll need to bring with you to the negotiating table. Lastly, prior to the meeting, determine how much certain items are worth to you.
#4 – Remember The IRS
Taxes are one of the most common problem areas for divorcing couples. Innocent mistakes can lead to major headaches and sizable tax penalties for both sides.
Keep your filing status in mind; filing jointly is typically better than doing so separately. Also, note that alimony is treated as taxable income by the IRS. If you intend to receive alimony payments, realize that you’ll likely need to pay taxes on the money.
It’s a good idea to consult a tax accountant to gain an understanding of how taxes might affect you following your divorce.
#5 – Avoid Emotional Attachments To Assets
It’s natural to feel an attachment to certain assets, particularly if they have special meaning to you. For example, you and your spouse might have lived in your home for 20 years. Giving it up may be difficult. Or, you might treasure a family heirloom that has been in your family for generations.
Try to sever any attachments you have to assets that might be vulnerable during the settlement negotiations. Doing so can help you sidestep arguments if your spouse feels as strongly about them as you do.
#6 – Focus On Your Finances
The most important item to consider is how you’ll fare financially following your divorce. Will you have enough money to survive? Will you be able to pay your bills and save for retirement? If you have children, will you have sufficient funds to purchase what they need?
Too often, partners try to use the settlement negotiations to exact revenge on their spouses. For example, they might prevent them from obtaining coveted assets. Or, they try to minimize the amount of time their spouses are able to spend with their children.
Focus on your finances. Don’t allow pettiness to dictate the settlement agreement.
Negotiations involving the division of assets, child custody, and support issues can quickly turn into an emotionally charged fight. Use the 6 tips above to avoid unnecessary battles with your spouse while ensuring you receive what you need from the settlement.